Sunday, February 05, 2006

2006 jan---------*

* * * * * 05-02-2006* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I've a very 'good' day on the first day of Lunar New Year. I won't consider myself an emotional person, for most of the people will feel bad if the same thing happens to them.
I went to Tebrau City alone on the second day. I'll say it is adventurous as I didn't really know its exact location, then I simply followed the road signs and got to the destination, and I should feel proud of myself. I called a friend who lives nearby, and we went to have some drink and laughed away the hours. We went to Secret Recipe and The Manhattan Fish Market.
As what I'd promised to little fish the day before, I went to Tebrau City again on the third day. We planned well to avoid traffic jam as setting out earlier. I nearly broke my legs as standing for more than 10 hours. It sounds ridiculous, but my legs seemed like seperated from my body after I came back. We had a sumptous brunch and a heavy dinner.
I thought my legs couldn't be moved on the fourth day, so I decided not going out. However, BB called to join their gathering, so I went out again in the afternoon. 4Bs, little fish and I, six of us was talking all we could to make up the loss of not seeing each other for quite a long time. Well, panda's new hair style made all of us laugh to hell. My little poor girl, she really looked like Marilyn Monroe with her yellowish curly hair.
I really thought of not going out on the day of five. Unexpectedly, I met a friend in George and Dragon for a cup of tea in the evening; met LC and her colleague, Evian, at Tebrau City again at night. I seldom go out at night, but three of us chatted in Secret Recipe until 11pm. It was the first time I met Evian, surprisingly we talked like long lost friends.
Oh...finally I didn't go out on the day six.
On the day seven, I went out with my buddies who I've known for 10 years. The members of discussion group are normally very good at speaking or able to express oneself accurately, so our conversation is both funny and witty due to our quick response. We had been laughing for 3 hours in the cafe named Heaven Rain.
If I say I am shy and introverted, none of my friend will agree with me. Therefore, in a more appropriate way, I should say I'm the mixture of introvert and extrovert. Well, I'll consider myself a lively person. In chinese, it should be a "熱鬧的人".
我覺得這幾天的談話內容如果錄起來真的可以讓人笑很久. 經典的"結婚和戀愛論", 為何花錢追女生是種投資, 甚至還可以扯到"no action的最高境界". 一個冷面笑匠, 一個愛說冷笑話, 一個擅長引經據典, 搞怪的組合反而擦出非一般的火花.

* * * * * 29-01-2006* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
There are many challenges in my life, I will say, even at the very beginning of the lunar new year.
I was waken up in the morning, and my mother asked me had I seen her purse which was with all the money inside. I helped her searching everywhere thoroughly, but we couldn't find it. She was so worried and kept searching because it included the money for the new year spending and the household expenses of next month; however, she couldn't recall where she had lost her purse. I guessed it had been stolen when she was shopping at the hypermarket yesterday.
I stayed calmly as it was not the right time to blame anyone. I gave her RM400 at once and told her not to worry because she could exchange them into the smaller bank notes with someone who had extra. She sat on the bed and started crying as she felt sorry for her carelessness. I hugged her in my arms and consoled her not to worry much as I could work more this year to earn back what we'd lost.
This is the very day of the year, in the morning of the first day of Chinese New Year, while everyone is happily spending the precious moment together with family and friends, I feel sad not because of the money but not be able to provide my family with good life.
I really hope that my family will have a prosperous year!
* * * * * 24-01-2006* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Last Sunday was a rainy day, but it couldn't stop me from going out. I went to JB in the morning, went to Skudai in the afternoon, and went for a haircut in the evening. Later, I went to fetch little fish and went dinner at Bee's Cafe in Perling. We shared our favourite Bread Dip and Salmon Garlic Spagetti and chatted until we felt sleepy.

Little fish wanted to buy a DVD player, so we went to Tampoi Hypermart. After that, we went to buy DVD. I bought 6 DVDs, they were Merchant of Venice, The Scarlet Letter, Gone with the Wind, Mary Poppins, Rain Man and Sleepless in Seattle. The shopkeeper told us not to worry when we asked him if we could return if the disc had defection.

"The films you've chosen are older than I am..." he added.
"You don't really mean it, do you? I just can't believe it. I've thought you are in my age!" I deliberately said in an exaggerated tone.
"I'll show you my identity card, " he hurriedly took out his wallet and showed his IC and claimed, "Here it is!"
"Hey, it is all your fault! What did you say that he was in your age? You've made him feel anxious." after saying this, little fish laughed as loud as I did. His reaction made us laugh up our sleeve!
* * * * *
"Yayaya, have you SEX today?"
(Wow, I'm proud of him, he used the word SEX grammatically.)
"I have just SE, SE and SE only."
"there is another funny sentence la..."
"I do SEX everyday at home"
"do SEX on bed, on dining table, in swimming pool..."
"basketball court oso can.....god, u created such funny WORD~"
**[ SEX=Sleeping, Eating and eXercise]
My little friend's boyfriend sent me these messages just now. His creativity made me laugh out loud! I'd like to know whether he dare to say so in front of me. I haven't met him before although I've known him for 2 years. I guess we'll have chance to meet.
* * * * *
I have to check in at the office every Monday morning. Last Monday I was in a rush, so the boys allowed me to sign my name before them. I expressed my gratitude before leaving. Just when I stepped out the office I heard they said, "Do not mention it, give each of us a hug would be fine!"
I would turn back and give each of them a hug if given time, but it's too bad that I had to rush to the class. Haha..
Years ago when I was having tea in the Coffee Bean with my elder cousin, we talked about the Chinese implicit way of expression. Then, we concluded that 'actions speaks louder than words', and we crazy two gave each other a hug as if bidding farewell before we went off. Yes, right in front of the public, I guess they would think we were mentally disordered.



* * * * * 23-01-2006* * * * ** * * * ** * * * ** * * * ** * * * ** * * * *
When I was busy reading my new book this afternoon, he suddenly asked me, "Do you like chocolate?" I told him I did, but he didn't say anything and continued doing his work quietly. I didn't ask much and continued my reading. When I was about to leave, he gave me a box of Ferrero Rocher.
He is a 14 years old boy, and we talk like friend as if we were in the same age, in fact, I am much older than him. After I know that he used to play computer games during leisure time, I have suggested him to keep reading as a habit, so I share my books with him as I believe that every young soul needs reading to enrich his or her life; sometimes, I tell him the stories I have read and encourage him to read widely.
"I'd like to show you the books I have bought in my last trip to KL!" he said. I was very touched when I listened to this. It made me believe that a seed will be growing into roses if I try to put in effort. I will not be with him forever, but I have left him, at least, a good habit.
* * * * *
Lynlyn received "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens" as Christmas gift from her sensei. The book is derived from "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" which I read 5 years ago.
"After reading this book, I have found that I have many shortcomings." she said in a discouraged tone. I told her we all were not born to be perfect, and we were here to grow and learn; we might make some mistakes as well as would learn from the mistakes we had made, we couldn't be perfect, but we could be better.
"Hmm, why don't you start keeping diary? You can keep track of your growth through keeping diary, and it will help you to communicate with yourself!" i suggested.
"Yes, i have started it since last week." she said.
I'm so glad to see a 17 years old girl who is ready to explore her life, and I have prepared a notebook for her as an encouragement for her good start.
* * * * *
I meet my little friends once a week. Besides doing homework together, we are sharing experience or telling jokes. My work is to help and guide them, so I don't have to be fierce and strict. I guess they have enough threats from their parents or teachers in school, so I don't have to give them more stress, but I'll try to make them be responsible for their work.
* * * * *
Phocion asked me when we were having class this afternoon, "Hey, why do you use 'I need SEX everyday' as your MSN nick?" I could feel that he was shy to ask this, and I told him SEX stands for Sleeping, Eating and eXercise.
When I was driving home, I was thinking of my little friend who has been a mother when she was only 18. After knowing that she had a boyfriend, I advised her to avoid unwanted pregnancy. I told her that she was very young and must think of her future and also told her the resposibility she had to bear after having a baby. I didn't wish to be long-winded, so I didn't say much after she had said she would protect herself.
"Snake, I have to tell you something..." her friend talked to me over the phone after two months.
"Is she pregnant?" I asked directly.
"Yes, she is...How do you know?" her friend was curious.
"I guess so." I said.
"Snake, you can be a fortune teller. But, I feel worried because she is not ready to be a mother. She should listen to you..." she said.
* * * * *
After this incident, I try to remind my little friends, boys and girls, to respect themselves and others. I have never asked my little friends to be open-minded, but they should at least hold the positive attitude.
Some parents think that sex is a taboo subject, they don't really educate their children; at the same time, the school doesn't provide sex education sufficiently. If every adult thinks that it is inappropriate to talk about sex, then who should be blamed if something unwanted happens to our teens?

* * * * * 22-01-2006* * * * ** * * * ** * * * ** * * * ** * * * ** * * * *
After a friend had told me that SEX stands for Sleeping, Eating and eXercise, I changed my nickname to "I need SEX everyday" this morning. It sounds like I am someone who is having abnormal psychology. Some of my friends felt surprised about this name, but none of my coursemate did. I guess they have got used to it.
I can remember the first time we talked about this topic in the Literature class, our lecturer asked what our opinion about homosexual was, and we were told something about erotic novel, pornography etc, and he also encouraged us to read. A stupid person suggested to our lecturer, "Sir, why don't you select some erotic novels as our reading material? I am sure we will like it! And it also helps to arouse our lust for Literature~" Well, that stupid person is me...
"Seize the day, time passes swiftly, make love now... " We have memorised this Carpe diem theme in the library, it's made us sound like sex maniac! Haha, we all enjoyed the rhythm of this sentence, so we kept repeating...
My primary school provided the first sex education when I was 10 years old. When I studied in high school, I joined a group which was under the counselling department, so I had to take part in distributing the sanitary product to all the girls when we organised sex education talks. The talks were fun, boys and girls in the same hall could raise their doubts and the invited doctor would answer them!
When I was a college student, I joined a discussion club. I was so 'lucky' to be chosen to lead the discussion. I knew the club members purposely chose me for fun, but my partner and I did a good job. The discussion which we led became the most successful one. Ha ha ha... I still remember some of the sharing... fun!
However, none of the sex education in the school was better than my family sex education. It was a sunny afternoon, a blue film was lent by my neighbour... and my whole family watched it together as if it was an entertaining show... If it could be considered as kind of sex education, it would be the funniest one!



* * * * * 21-01-2006* * * * ** * * * ** * * * ** * * * ** * * * *
"Wei" is a beautiful Chinese word, the denotative meaning of this word means ROSE; however, my parents gave me this name because they wish I will SMILE cheerfully in my life. Therefore, I will say the meaning of my name means "ROSY SMILE" or "SMILING ROSE".
I used to be a very shy little girl, as a matter of fact, I was also a witty girl. Some of the uncles liked to tease me and made me talk, but they failed to do that most of the time...
"Weiwei, Weiwei..." this is how he called me. He pronounced my pet name in a very special way, in fact, some of my father's friends pronounce my pet name sweetly. I addressed him "Uncle Shi-Xiong" because my father called him "Shi-Xiong"(senior).
This is a sunny day, I woke up early in the morning. Some images flash through my mind as if I am watching a movie...
Uncle Shi-Xiong was passed away two days ago... I will always remember him and remember how he called my name "Weiwei". Sweetly.
* * * * *
I was watching "The great Jang-Geum" last two weeks, but I can't watch any DVD now. I am quite busy lately. I go to work in the morning and at night, and I go to school in the afternoon. I like to spend my time with students, and I also like to see my coursemates. This is my last semester to be with all of them, I wish to see them more often even though I seldom talk to some of them.
Boys are endangered species in my class, and they always sit at the last row. Surprisingly, Mr Phocion and Prof Max have moved to the first row this semester; one is sit on my left-hand-side, another is sit on my right-hand-side. Can you imagine two boys and one auntie are talking as if they are at the bazaar?
I miss Hup Guan a lots, he is not taking the psychology course this semester. Luckily, I can meet him on MSN. I miss my dear Skhai too, he is working in Singapore now. We went to Seremban to visit Auntie Vivian last year and came back this year. Thanks Skhai. I love the trip!
Violet looks prettier and more confident, Doreen will have a charming smile since next Monday, Maggie can park the car well, LianLian looks nice with her hair tied up, Bonnie, Yanshan, Joyee, Jasmine, Vivian and Green all look nice with their new hairstyle.
I gonna miss my sweet ladies and charming gentlemen...
* * * * *
Way, our phonetics lecturer, has come back. I have met him before school open and he is as charming as 10 years ago, and also as humorous as before. He accurately named my first job and my working place... he has a extremely good memory!
"Wow, Sir, you have a good memory!" I said. He pointed his hair and said "I'm old." Yes, his hair has turned grey, but he insisted it was white. ha..
I hope Mr Lim will come back soon.
* * * * *
This morning I've received a parcel from Taiwan, with a book written by my friend himself. Wow! It is amazing! I really appreciate people who treat me nicely, and I am always lucky to meet kind people.
My life is simple, but sometimes I feel happy for no reason. I was born to be cheerful, that's why my parents name me "Weiwei". Maybe I kept smiling when I was born...

Monday, November 08, 2004

[21 Oct 2004]爸爸!爸爸!我是妹妹...

[08 Sep 2004]蛙蛙聲

2004-09-08wawasan




歲月的筆記

2004-07-20diary


2004-07-20


2004-08-15notes


beowulf


2004-08-27diary


戀戀衛生棉

[25 Sep 2004]我的'情流感'---我們的名字裡 鑲嵌著的祝福

first love--------------*

不確定為什麼在數年之後的今天聽這首歌仍有想落淚的感動

你還記得嗎?那一年我們都因同一個故事感動得模糊了視線

我喜歡這樣

和你感覺重疊

感動著你的感動

我喜歡我們之間的默契

謝謝你,如果再有落淚

那是因為感動著你的存在...



我們說好的

如果真有來生

千萬別走失

一定要想個辦法

讓你不要忘了我

我們說好要做雙胞胎姐妹

下次我做姐姐,你做妹妹

==========================================



結果已經出來了

我不知道該如何面對這個消息

我突然覺得自己很脆弱

我不想失去

卻又無能為力



生命原來就是這麼一回事

突然有一個早上他和我告別

他說他必須要離開

我們相擁哭泣



我告訴自己要堅強

要堅強

但是淚珠還是滾滾落下

我並不想在這樣的情況下和他揮別



生命是如此脆弱

緣起緣滅 聚和散不過歷經九個月

我還是忘不了第一次和他見面時候的情景



我告訴大家別難過別難過

但是我還是免不了情緒塌陷

我無法偽裝堅強



他一直用他的笑容鼓勵著我

他要我要堅持

他讓我看到人性很美的一面



我們相差了23歲

我們卻成了好朋友

他是上天派來守護我的天使

給我勇氣堅持自己的選擇



我要他用他的最勇敢克服這次的難關

-------------------------------------------------------------------------



我想起了他為我描述阿拉斯加的景色

我想起了他的比手畫腳

我想起了我們一起度過的時光

我想起了我們在一起度過的那個傍晚

我們是如何費盡力氣在學發音

我們在一起讀著同一本書



那一天早上

他拿了一本陶杰的書給我

過了三天他說他要離開了



他曾在聚餐會上說要和我們一起合照

他說他不會出席最後的儀式

他說要先合照留作紀念

這些都是預言嗎?



相擁的那一刻

我多麼害怕從此失去他

不可能的

絕對不可能

他很快就會回來的



我不想在你目前哭泣

但是我還是捨不得你



臨別前你還是對我說感激

真正要說感激的人是我

天使陪伴我九個月,突然暫別

-------------------------------------------------------------------------



我們的名字裡鑲嵌著的祝福



那天不知怎的

突然說起了各自的名字

你說自己的名字很土

我說你的名字很好

"喜悅的歡笑"

你又很開心的笑了



我說我的名字也是很好

我媽媽曾經告訴我

他希望我一直微笑



所以我們都要在最困難的時候記得自己的名字

------------------------------------------------------------



我找到了第二個學期final最後一天的心情記事

想起了那天在食堂閒聊的情景

------------------------------------------------------------------------

七年前我遇到了我的foster daughter

七年之後我遇到了我的foster mama

歷經了人間最美麗的感情昇華

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

那一天我打開我抽中的紙條

打開時看到紙上躺著一個名字"vivian"

掀起了友誼的序幕...

[24 Sep 2004]...我們何其幸運...

小朋友今天考試...我也考試...
只是我還是選擇把自己的考試...
擺在最不顯眼的位子...


從小朋友那裡回來已經累得攤著不動了...
今天起個大清早想讀書...卻什麼也記不了...
腦袋空空...今天註定交白卷...

打開電腦...播放我喜歡的音樂...
鎮壓自己的情緒...

人有太多的情緒...太多...
而我還沒有找到任何轉換器...
可以隨時切換...

昨天一邊開車...
腦子裡冒出的是一句在課本上看到的...
every little bit will help...
we are not working for perfection, but only for improvement

如果真的有上帝...
他已經透過課本傳達旨意了...

我忍不住難過的和爸爸說...
"我明天考試...可是我沒辦法讀...怎麼辦?"
他回給我一個微笑...什麼也沒說...
這個微笑已經足夠了...
如果微笑可以摺疊...
我願自己能把這個微笑藏在口袋...
隨時和需要的人分享...

我渴望看書...課本以外的書...
半年多沒看書...已面目可憎...
連自己都開始討厭自己了...

小朋友sms我說沒有眼鏡,明天慘了...
"切兩個pepsi bottle的瓶底吧...."我回覆

奇怪的溝通方式...
帶小朋友去剪頭髮...
路上我們聊了很多...
他充滿好奇的問我為什麼不結婚...
"等你長大娶我..."
這個問題他已經問了三年>"<
同樣的答案也是回答了三年...

我記得他媽媽打電話問他怎樣回家...
他的回答是"快快樂樂的回..."
或許我們有著屬於我們自己的默契...
早上7:15 出門去...

明天聚會?你們不要遲到!
每次都是我在等你們!你們好意思嗎~??
可以換一個地方嗎~?每次都同樣地方的~顯!!!

日記 19/09/2004 10:33
我覺得自己是無聊的~
對著別人的錯誤生氣~
何苦~?
錯的是他又不是我~
為什麼要我來承擔~?

世界擁有太多的巧合~
這些巧合像積木一樣讓人驚嘆~
在生氣夾雜失望的那個午後~
其實發生了一件事~

一邊開車一邊氣得不能自己的時候~
電話嚮了~
摸不到耳機的我~
把車聽在最靠近的車站~
"喂?"
"星期六有講座,你要來嗎?"
"什麼講座?"
"免費的講座啦~我們kiwanis辦的`有茶點招待喔~"
"幾點?"
"2pm-6pm"
"一定又是要我去湊人數"
"你來不來?"
"好啦~好啦~你知道我一定支持你的嘛"
"confirm來啊?我寫你的名字了啊!"

人生是充滿變數~和無數巧合的~
這樣的巧合又有誰可以解釋~?

星期六到了~我獨自一個人開車到講座會場~
我把車停在老遠的地方~
我手上拿著一本在舍利子展覽拿的手冊`
乘搭電梯到四樓時候~
我閱讀我手上的冊子~
"peace is always obtainable.

the way to peace is not only
through prayers and rituals.
peace is the result of man's
mental development, harmony
with his fellow beings and
with his environment..."

講座快開始了~
我找到一個最角落的位子坐下~
不久~來了一家五口~就坐在我的正前方~
一對夫妻~帶著三個女兒~最小的那個看起來只有5歲~
小女兒在父母姐姐間穿梭~時不時撒嬌呢喃~
我發現了~小女孩耳朵上掛著什麼~
依賴著這樣一個小東西可以讓他聽到這個世界~
他媽媽可以溫柔的對著他說話~
他也能夠對著媽媽的話語明白的回以微笑~

頓時~我不知道自己過去兩天做了什麼~
深深懊悔著自己的不理智~
How can we keep blaming for not able to fly
while someone even dont have legs to stand on

在講座會結束之前~我在問卷上寫下了~
"we are extremely fortunate for being able to listen to this world"

我們有太多不快樂的理由~
埋怨自己有的太少~
其實~是一點也不缺的~
就算有~也是缺了一顆知足的心~

[23 Sep 2004]數到3....睡覺去!

這個時候整個亞洲,大部分的人都睡著了
我卻醒著...
我懷疑自己到底要面對多少個考試?
我的考試,別人的考試...大家一起考...
考到我焦頭爛額...

我忍不住拿出自己的筆記本
溫習了上一次出走的悸動...
文字下的心情仍有溫度
我渴望下一次的出走
什麼時候?我不知道.
或許.明天.

2004年4月始
我沒有了所謂生活
日子充斥了字典,生字,讀書,考試...

豬頭萍,
我還在思索
我究竟是自己的牧羊人還是一隻迷失了的羔羊...
面對著課本,心情塌陷
找一天我們去red box吧

maggie,
謝謝你的日記,那熟悉的溫暖感覺
把感動握在手中是一種幸福
讓我多看幾眼吧!
我多麼希望現在可以拿起筆
和你在紙上對話...但...
先給你看黑人叔叔的故事啦
(那時候我和你們一樣年輕...)
心情太複雜了...很難寄...直接放到網頁比較快...
http://home.kimo.com.tw/bread_talk2000/2004-09-16diary.htm
------------------------------------------------



我開始學習分辨jasmine and alisa
多麼希望可以多一點點時間認識你們
多一點點...多一點點...

我還不會分violet和XXX...

班上以"條"為量詞的人很多...
一條一條...又瘦又長...
以"粒"為量詞的人也是不少...
一粒一粒...又矮又胖...

"你好,我是一粒misia!"
(這樣說,好像在介紹魚丸,很好吃的樣子)

我看到melanie的筆記很多顏色...很多顏色...很多顏色...
今天坐在他旁邊,才發現他那麼可愛
很可愛...很可愛...很可愛...的熱心小女孩...
但是我還是不明白為什麼他的東西像樹上的蘋果一樣
掉滿地...掉滿地...掉滿地...
我好像一直在看著他撿東西...撿東西...撿東西...

我看到phocion原來也是會微笑...會微笑...會微笑...
winson是處女座...處女座...處女座...
vivian會罵人...會罵人...會罵人...
sohbee很會哭...很會哭...很會哭...
yuhua很溫柔...很溫柔...很溫柔...
misia很白痴...很白痴...很白痴...

我班上還有誰...還有誰...還有誰...

星期六去聚會...去聚會...去聚會...
好期待...好期待...好期待...

我要崩潰了...崩潰了...崩潰了...
我瘋了...瘋了...瘋了...
我...我...我...
我..我..
我...
...

Sunday, November 07, 2004

snakespeare's

snakespeare's啟航



小時候~我學什麼都比其他小朋友慢~成績年年吊車尾
我爸從沒因此罵我半句~只是笑著說我四方腦
像這種笨小孩~換在別的家庭早就被打扁了
不管我成績怎麼爛~我老爸都對我笑笑說:"下次再努力"
所以我這輩子大概就是依循這句話~下次再努力
卻也因為這話~我常常在偷懶~因為~可以下次再努力